Have you ever felt like you just aren’t getting through to one of your foster kids? And like nothing you do seems to be making a difference? I know that I feel this way A LOT. We’ve had some foster kids in the past that just feel like no matter what we try, they keep having the same problems and struggle with the same issues over and over again.
Just recently I felt like I had reached my limit on one of our foster kids. It felt like no matter what we did, he was throwing a fit, having a tantrum, yelling and calling names, whining, squawking, complaining…you get the picture. And this wasn’t just every day, it was multiple times a day. I didn’t even feel like anything was working. Randomly I would notice that when we practiced something prior to it happening he would do better, but even then there were so many other times that right after practicing the right way to do it, he would turn right around and have a tantrum about it.
Well, we kept on doing what we needed to. We practiced and did Role-plays on situations every day, we were consistent with the consequences that came with the behavior he was having, and MAGIC! I’m not kidding, it was like one day he was throwing temper tantrums, and the next he was willing to use the skills we were teaching him. He would say “OK” with a good attitude and do what you asked right away. We didn’t have to drag him out of bed in the mornings, he just got up on his own. He got his homework and chores done without complaining. NEW KID!
I would have to say that he may have been one of the hardest foster kids I have ever had to handle on a daily basis and to see the change after the consistency and the persistence from me and Ben is so rewarding. So if you find yourself beating your head against the wall (figuratively or literally) just know that these kids that come through your home need you and they need all the persistence that you can offer them to help them change and grow from great kids into Awesome young adults. Good luck!
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Ben & Deb
The Foster Parents