Episode 21- Do You Power Struggle?
What is a Power Struggle?
- Power Struggling occurs often in foster care.
- It is important to realize that foster kids often feel like they have power over nothing. Make an effort to allow them power over some things.
- It takes two to power struggle. And out of those two, you can only control you!
What does a power struggle look like?
- Arguing is usually one of the first signs of a power struggle.
- Refusing to do something is another common one.
- “You can’t make me!”
- “You’re not in charge of me!”
What feelings come with power struggles?
- I know that I am power struggling when I get mad, and I’m determined to show that I’m the boss.
- Foster kids feel mad as well. They also feel frustrated, helpless, and they feel like giving up, (not giving up on what they are fighting for, but giving up on you, or your home, or their desire to try!)
What are the effects of Power Struggles?
- They strain relationships.
- They take away the power to choose.
- When foster kids have choices, they learn on their own.
- When you force them to do things, they learn very little.
Power Struggles are going to happen, it’s just a part of life. In our home we try to identify these 3 stages of power struggles and blowups:
- Post- Blowup
Next week we will walk you through the things that we do in each of these stages of power struggling.
Call to Action:
- Identify areas that you power struggle in your own home.
- Identify how you feel in the moment.
- Write this down so that you can learn to better identify when you are about to fall into a power struggle.
Thanks so much for listening. Stay tuned next week to catch the rest…
If you liked anything we had to say, share this with your friends and go to iTunes and leave us a 5 Star review and Subscribe. This will help us reach and help other Foster Parents.
Let us know some of the things that you find yourself engaging in power struggles over. Ben used to power struggle over how to load the dishwasher!
Until next time!
Ben & Deb Pugh
The Foster Parents